As I've gotten older, I've realized how much of life is to be analyzed. It's not just a case of oh, that person is mad so they must be mean. It's more of, that person is mad or sad, maybe something is bothering them; maybe they are dealing with something other people can't understand. Makes you rethink how you treat people...
I have also found that there are a lot of people who are mad or sad and really there isn't anything wrong with them. All that is wrong with them is the pity party that is inside their head. They feel sorry for themselves for whatever reason. And this, in my opinion, is a choice.
Well, soccer, for me, made that pity party non-existent.
When you're on a team, everyone has their own issues. Some players aren't happy with what position they play, some players aren't happy with how much playing time they are getting, some players just aren't happy no matter what.
We've all been there. I've been there.
It's easy to sit there and feel sorry for yourself. To complain to the player sitting next to you and so on. Happens with parents too. Complaining about your kid not getting the playing time they "deserve" and feeling sorry for yourself and for them.
I remember one moment in my career very well. A player on the team was complaining because she wasn't named player of the year. She was complaining to a player who hardly played all season. Now, even though most teammates are also friends and are there for each other, you gotta wonder... does that player EVER stop and think about the big picture?
That other player would kill to just be on the field... and you're complaining about player of the year?
Of course you can argue that it's all relative. And so much of life is obviously. But soccer brought this to my attention like nothing else in my life.
I've been in both situations in my career. I've been on the bench and I've been the MVP. I know what it's like. But being on the bench also is a dream for someone who is injured. Shagging balls at practice to help the team out, but not being able to participate.
How does that person feel?
It just makes you think. About your own situation within the team and how other players might feel.
Taking this over to life is a no brainer.
When things aren't going your way, it's very easy to feel sorry for yourself. Trying to get other people in on the game is even easier.
But where does that really get you at the end of the day? Probably a pity party of one in your head and people who think you're selfish.
What can you do instead?
Host a BAMF party in your head. Think about all the great things about yourself that have made you happy and confident and proud in the past. Think about the people in your life and the shit they are going through. (That takes about 10 minutes of your time) (Depending on how many friends you have). Make their day better not worse.
Because at the end of the day no one really cares if you were the MVP or not. They care about how you treated them when they were in the dumps.